Hello and welcome to westcoastmeshfighter, afterthoughts, I thank you for reading.  It takes a lot of courage just to admit that this disability is really painful.  I really had two subjects that I wanted to talk about how having courage has brought me to where I am. 

This last week was really confusing as far as family goes, however I had a great time with my dad and brother and my niece and nephews this week.

I wanted to talk about courage tonight, because I believe I witnessed several miracles this week.  I know back to school is slowly approaching and I had no idea how I was going to get clothes for our kids and when I was with my family this week, someone gave my parents 3 garbage bag full of practically brand new clothes, from high end department stores.  I actually started crying, because I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

It takes a lot of courage to go to a public family event with a lot of people you don’t know.  My anxiety was in overload at my cousins funeral.  I actually had to separate myself so I could breath it out.  I am thinking to myself, great how do I handle this?  My answer is I don’t know, but it took a lot of courage to go.  I ended up having a great time with my dad, brother, his girlfriend Stacy and 4 of our 6 kids.  We had such a good time, even though we just had a loved one pass away.

Having social anxiety disorder has me home bound for the most part, however after the funeral, there was a reception, however I had to go home and change, the weather has made it hard because of the heat, so went outside when I was feeling overwhelmed.    I am really new to having anxiety and depression like this.  I know in my heart of hearts I will continue to fight to regain some of my favorite things to do.  I also felt really disconnected from my family.  What used to be, I see it different, so all I can do is take it one day at a time.  Tomorrow is Sunday and Smalltalk, thank you for stopping by!  Remember it takes courage to fight back, Mesh won’t beat me, I will Beat the Mesh.

Thank you all for your support and have a great Sunday.

M. Hedgcoth Co founder of Westcoastmeshfighter