Hello and Good Evening/Morning to everyone and welcome to Sunday and Small Talk. I hope everyone is well and taking care. There was a time when I never thought I could talk about my medical issues, let alone having the outlets of social media that has not only helped me but gave me this opportunity to share with you all my journey. I have learned that no matter what I face, change is always going to come, it’s up to me to decide which way I want to go in my life. I defiantly didn’t think that I would even be dealing with the medical issues that comes with a TVM. I frequently get UTI’s, IV therapy for antibiotics and pain medication, going to the doctors all the time. Unable to walk around the block the pain is so bad. I really thought about this and I hadn’t before, things are different now, so pain never goes away, there fore it never leaves my mind. Always trying to minimize it somehow. Heating pad, Icy Hot, or any muscle rub, right after a bath, with lavender bath salts, a few candles, and my bathroom just became my hideaway, (we have two teens at home, total of 5), lol.
For the longest time, dealing with pain has become part of my daily life, and it drains everything I have, at least half the time, my kids are helping with dinner and dishes because I can’t get up for more than a few minutes than the pain kicks in. I just know I felt alone for so long, then, once I connected online, I see it now as humbling, appreciating what I have and realizing what I don’t need. My hope is that something I experienced can help others. Emotionally, it beats you up inside and getting away from those feelings isn’t easy. I am still struggling sometimes, but I wake up everyday with the attitude that I can and I will.
I have noticed that lately I have been happier, enjoying my time with my family. Finding laughter again, it’s such a relief because for the longest time, I felt guilty for feeling good, happy. I knew that the road would be shown to me eventually, so I have waited patiently, in pain. One things for sure, I have learned a lot more about myself during this Journey and I have learned what really makes me happy, I hold onto that. I love my family, more than anything, and I am blessed to have them all, however I have also learned that with a great life changing condition comes major changes in the very life we were living.
I am good with it all, it took me some time, but I have accepted things to a point, let go a bit and now I am happier. Living life on my terms is honest, not just to myself but to my family. Each Mesh warrior has similar and some different side effects, one thing I am sure we can agree on is the pain is horrible, keeps me in bed for days sometimes depending on what I might have overdone it again. It’s hard to explain excruciating pain to someone, I still have a hard time when I have to go to the hospital. Some of my home treatments are a warm shower with a foot of warm water in the tub, when I stand I have bath salts put into the warm water and I am relaxing my feet while I shower Just standing in it makes my feet really soft like you just put amazing lotion on your legs and feet. Feeling relaxed after that helps me to sleep, it is so relaxing, with your favorite music if you want, I always do.
As I am coming to terms with life, with limit’s, verses the world I used to live in, where I worked at an amazing job, and I always could provide for my kids and myself, but then this happened. Things are different now, just like so many mesh warriors and I know there a many who are suffering with unbearable pain, and so many side effects, financial circumstances, etc. I want to send blessings and love to all those who are feeling lost, sick, lonely, you are not alone, I am thinking good thoughts for you all. Now it’s time for me to live the way I intended to, helping as many as I can, as best as I can, and I will stop at nothing to live my dreams, one day at a time.
May you all find peace, love, and joy, until next time, thank you so much for reading, it means the world to me, please comment any suggestions, any questions, comments, thank you so much. Blessings to everyone!
Mrs. M Hedgcoth co founder of westcoastmeshfighter, #tvmwarriorandsurvivor, #wearestrongertogether.