Hello and Good Evening/Morning to everyone, I hope you all are doing well! We made it through another Monday and I used to think Monday’s were my most horrific days. I don’t know if it’s just a mindset where you wake up with and automatically your like “ugh it’s Monday”. There are so many examples of how Monday’s would get here and I have no idea where the week went. Having to change your mindset is one of the most challenging mental brain warps I continue to struggle with everyday. Everyday I wake up, I am hit immediately with Pain. I don’t really get a lot of sleep anymore and I find myself 3 hours here and 4 hours there. It’s like having to pick what is most important to deal with, getting pain under control, then starting my morning and making that easier to cope with. I have never been a morning person, but I had a morning routine when I worked full time. Once that was interrupted, the challenges began. I have spent close to the last 8 years trying to figure out how to deal with it.
When they say it’s a process, they weren’t kidding and by they, I mean medical professionals. It wasn’t direct, however I could tell that with every procedure, blood draw, hospital visit, doctor appointments, different medications, it became so complicated that it became just trying things out, also I have minimal pain meds now, but Monday’s became the day for calls, follow ups, etc. Sunday would come and it would stress me out thinking of all the calls I needed to make and what if I couldn’t wake up in time because I was up the night before in horrible amounts of pelvic pain???? What if I made the appointment and I couldn’t get there because I couldn’t get transportation scheduled. Before I knew it, I was saying to myself “skip it” and I would just keep my appointments.
Here I am almost 4 years later, completely disabled and still doing trial and error except now I have new doctors and all I have is time now to figure out how to help myself at home, along with investigating more community options for our family. I don’t know to describe it other than Gratitude. I wake up with Gratitude and I am really. I was so angry and disappointed in our State, Government for so long with my lack of medical care that I received once I lost my employer’s health insurance, after a transvaginal Mesh Implant permanently disabled me. I am so much pain that I would wake up on Mondays already pissed off because I overslept my medication times and I knew I had to change how I was thinking or nothing would ever change, this cycle would continue and I certainly didn’t want to live out the rest of my life like that.
Of course not realizing it, I was starting to slowly wake up with my first thought something happy. I don’t know why, but I started doing this daily and then it seemed that our family was getting some happy back. Motivation for change is already taking place and I am genially happy. This medical condition and everything that came with it, affected our whole family so much that for a short time, it seemed as if nothing would ever get better.
Some of the most basic Principles that were taught to me as a young lady, somehow I had forgotten some of them. Despair has a funny (not funny) way of reminding us of tragedy, sadness, and until we see past it, nothing will ever change. The last time I had checked for Transvaginal Mesh News updates,was a couple of years ago, there was hardly anything and now I see it all over the World, finally maybe my doctors will start to pay attention to the coverage. We are fighting back and once the Mesh Implants are off the market for good, we might be able to just save people from the permanent damage that these faulty devices try to steal from us, and those who continue to have permanent damage, mental illness, and injuries to areas that are extremely sensitive. How can they back any of them knowing all of these things. I am still angry, but now my focus is on us survivors who have to live with pain, suffering, and everything in between.
Once we figure out what we need to deal within our own bodies and mind, the Chronic Debilitating Pain, the damaged mental state, from doctors and medical professionals ignoring us, looking at us like we are liars, to doctors coming and telling you the mesh disappeared, it’s gone, great news! (this really happened to me), but couldn’t explain why I was having large amounts of pain and the kind of pain I deal with everyday is not normal, nor should I have been treated the way I have and now all I can do is try to move forward and I know I can.
I know the options for overcoming this started the minute I opened my mind up to trying to get help, whether it be emotional or physical and I am still doing it, slow or quick, I won’t stop trying. There is not harm, or shame in it, especially with mental health. If the public only knew the number of suicides so far from this, it’s heartbreaking to even know about it. I stand up against Mesh along with our Mesh Warriors around the world. I would never want anyone to feel or experience what I have had to here in my county. I shouldn’t feel ashamed because a faulty medical device was put in my body and now it’s caused so many side effects in me.
I actually was embarrassed about my mental state for a long time because I had always handled it without a problem until this happened and I can’t stress this enough, We Matter, all of us, what has been done to us should be criminal. The fact that this can bring a whole world together is amazing and I am grateful to have you all with me, thank you all so much. Love yourself, take care of yourself, do what is necessary for your mental health and physical health. Life doesn’t have to be miserable and. You are worth it, we are worth it!!! #wearestrongertogether
Love and blessings to you all and please comment, like, share. I am on social media outlets Twitter, Facebook, Google + and Instagram and now on YouTube, if you have a hard time finding them, please let me know. May Joy and Peace be with you until next time. Have an amazing week, because we can!
M. Hedgcoth, co founder of westcoastmeshfighter, Advocate and Humanitarian, Writer and Graphic Designer.
Ref: Photo Apps for Windows 10, and The Secret, Movie. You can find it on YouTube along with Oprah Winfrey’s super soul Sundays.